“Jess you are such a dreamer, it’s so annoying….”
There’s a myth about people that are “optimistic”.
No, I am not happy all the time.
Yes, I do feel overwhelmed and cry at times.
Yes, no matter how much life may suck, I am an extremely positive person.
There is so much resistant to just letting yourself be happy because we always want more. I get it; I’m an ambitious person. I am just as goal-oriented as the next 20-something year old, but the key to becoming successful is by thinking optimistically.
Do you think Steve Jobs was thinking like a realist or an optimist when he created Apple? Optimists achieve great things because of their attitude. The more I started thinking positive and kind towards myself, the more I truly believed I was enough, the more the universe returned that same energy and set up to help me accomplish my goals.
Maybe for my generation it’s cool to be a bit negative–to critique others, to bad mouth or to put others down. Maybe this makes us feel better. But if you pay close attention, life really doesn’t suck.
For the Realists, 5 “Realistic” Ways to Be More Positive:
1. Make An Inspiration Music Playlist.
Or simply listen to happy music–this can be any song that brings out good thoughts. Refer to my previous post to see my personal “good-feeling” playlist.
2. Make a Small Effort to Look Nice Everyday.
I’ve never been one to dress up. As a former athlete, I’m a huge advocate for sweatpants anywhere, anytime. But your appearance can improve your day-to-day life. I never knew how much fashion impacted the confidence in people until I starting working in fashion! As a men’s fashion advisor and sometimes personal stylist, I thought my job was filled with selfish, egocentric, shallow, freaks. Yeah and some people in the fashion world are like that, (luckily not anyone I work with, LOVE YOU GUYS.) It was during my training that I realized I was helping people gain more knowledge on how to present themselves; I was building their confidence.
First day of orientation the fashion advisors watched a scene from the movie The Devil Wears Prada. The main character, who is a recent college graduate and serious journalist, cares more about the content of her work ethic than her clothing–I was a nerd in college, I can relate (again sweatpants everyday, all day). However, when she’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown because she is busting her ass but not pleasing her boss, she decides to get a makeover. A new look, new clothes, and wa-la she is feeling more confident about her position! With a pep in her step, and a better attitude at work, she ends up impressing her boss and most importantly herself!
Before, I would get up for work and leave make up and getting all done-up for when I got there. Now If I have the time I wake up 10 minutes earlier than usual, just to spend extra time on my hair and makeup. A minor change like this can make you more likely to engage in conversation with the hottie at Starbucks 😉 or have a good day overall.
3. Set Short-Term Goals. On your Phone.
Like any 20-something, I’ve got big goals. Huge, daunting goals that make me feel so unbelievably overwhelmed that sometimes it’s hard to even start. To ease my mind, I’ve started writing everything down on my phone. From my late night “I’m lonely” thoughts, to “pick up dry cleaning tomorrow!” I even set alarms and cute reminders for myself “Meeting at 5pm, smile your day is almost done!” Taking things one step at a time, one day at a time and accomplishing mini goals really boosts your confidence and make your giant dreams feel more attainable.
4. Stay Busy.
I came across a quote from Joyce Meyer, “When we fill our thoughts with the right things, the wrong ones have no room to enter.” As much as I hate the fast busy pace of New York City, we live to work not work to live, but a busy life is indeed a happy life. And forgive me for the add-on but following inspirational people on twitter, Facebook, Instagram and even LinkedIn, is SO worth it! Some of the most depressing times of my life have been when I simply didn’t have enough to do—it breeds boredom and negativity. Staying busy will make you realize that you simply don’t have time to worry about your supposed “weight gain” or that stupid ex boyfriend who keeps texting you.
5. Forgive Yourself and Forgive Others.
As a selfish generation we tend to be too sensitive. Taking everything personally and not stopping to think how our actions may affect other people. Forgive any guilt you may feel. Forgive yourself for hurting people or any wrong doing you have done, and give yourself a fresh start. Also forgive those who hurt you. Let it go. Whatever you do, do not hold on to bitterness. Go on your own truth-seeking journey. Have the courage to accept yourself and your flaws. You are imperfect but you are worthy of love and belonging. Never blame yourself for a break up or change yourself for the sake of making something work. You know what kind of person you want to be, so be that person. Have a vision of what kind of life you want to live. Be the best version of you.
“Jess you are such a dreamer, it’s so annoying, but I like being around you because you give me hope for my dreams too.”