The Beginning of the Journey
I made this blog as a Relationship 101: How to improve your relationships. But the relationship I am focusing on, is the relationship with yourself. Why? Because that is the most important relationship to nurture. You stop wasting your time doubting yourself and saying unkind words to yourself. You become secure and confident and overall HAPPIER with your life. This kind of happiness translates to how you view your dreams, and how you treat others. Nurturing your relationship with yourself is the stepping stone to all of our other relationships.
We get so caught up with social media–our friends, associates, coworkers, and people we don’t know– and what these people might think of us. We look for validation with how many Instagram likes we get on our latest selfie and how Twitter followers we have. I think it is important to realize that they don’t matter. In fact, your boss, professors, co-workers, twitter followers, friends, classmates–what they all think of you, doesn’t matter. (Don’t tell them that, just know in your head.) What matter is what YOU think of yourself. How YOU wish to carry yourself.
Why is self-love so important?
Because at the end of the day the only person you have to live with… is yourself.
Now I’m not saying relationships don’t matter because they do. I’m a Pubic Relations and Communications professional, my whole career is based on relationship-building. But they say the best way to love someone else is to love yourself first. The best way to appreciate and be kind to someone is to appreciate and be kind to yourself first. The mean and miserable people are usually insecure or mad at themselves. So never absorb other people’s negative energy. Just focus on keeping a positive energy around you.
I also believe the best way to love Life, is to love yourself first. To believe that in this exact moment, I am enough. I am enough for love, for my goals, for the life I want to live.
1. Accept loneliness.
The best part of my self-journey was accepting being by myself. Reading alone in the park, going to yoga sessions alone, going to restaurants alone, and enjoying that time fully. That’s when I did most of my self-reflection, and the busier you become with work and life, the more time you need to think. Meditate, be alone with your thoughts, recharge.
That comes to my next point, if you’re in a great relationship you can still do this. But in fact as much as I advocate love, being single and truly loving yourself and others is one of life’s blessings. It prepares you for love. You get to appreciate the single life so much more that you rather be single than be in a bad relationship. So I encourage you to stop “looking” for a partner when you’re damaged. Learn how to heal. Don’t go back to that toxic ex boyfriend/girlfriend, instead work on yourself. Know that there is better out there but if you don’t change, what you attract won’t change either.
2. Embrace the word L-O-V-E.
“Love is what we are in our essence. The more love we feel in our hearts, the more it will be brought to us.” @DeepakChepora
Now I am a LOVE advocate. It’s a topic people do not like to talk about because it makes them seem vulnerable. But being vulnerable and exposing your feelings shows strength NOT weakness. Now I can talk about love until I sound like a greeting card, but I don’t expect people to feel comfortable doing this. It is like talking on stage for the first time with 50,000 eyeballs staring at you. Scary. But I encourage you to have this honest conversation with yourself.
How do you want love to make you feel? How can I give that feeling out first? What gets in the way of you being able to put things like love and compassion into practice in our daily lives?
It is usually an internal problem. When I hear people say “fuck love”, I think of love as: love for family, love for God, love for your friends, love for yourself. And if we don’t change our view on love, it shows that we aren’t fully secure and in love with ourselves like we should be to be truly happy.
3. Cry. if you want to.
Like anything that requires change. Journeying in self-love is NOT EASY. You have to cut everything toxic in your life–easier said than done, you will relapse a few times but learn to check yourself and stop. Reinventing yourself is hard because it requires you to step out of a comfort zone. This is particular hard for 20-something year olds, most want to play life safe. BUT it is extremely admirable to self-journey. If you do it, you will feel good and have a reason to be proud of yourself everyday! You are not going to feel different overnight, some days will be shittier than others but the growth is something you can be proud of.
4. Smile at your reflection.
I can blame social media for the” persona” people want to show off to other people, we fall in love what people think we are and start hating who we truly are.
Start loving the person in the mirror.
5. Make a promise to yourself and keep it.
6. Feed yourself and other kind words.
7. Don’t take other people’s negativity personally.
Hi my name is Jessica, and I’m a recovering loveaholic.
Stay tuned for Part II.